Broken, But Not Shattered

 

Dedicated to survivors of abuse.

My Testimony:

I would like to share a quiet testimony on suffering,
I was raised in an alcoholic home and was physically and emotionally abused, witnessed the repeated beatings of my mother, abuses towards pets, suffered the constant tyranny of evil, all throughout my childhood, beyond what most people could imagine.

I went from my childhood to young adulthood and spent 10 years under the iron fist of the Herbert W. Armstrong cult, 10 years of suffering spiritual abuse, only I didn’t know it then and experienced the repercussions only after I got out of that cult, another 10 years of suffering a foundering about without an identity and reeling from the lies I had believed.

Then I suffered another great blow, (probably worse than the child abuse) which shall remain nameless to protect the forgiven.

God was with me the whole time, and not once through all of the suffering did I blame Him or ask why, and that isn’t to cast me into a self-righteous light but to show the magnitude of God’s grace in my heart, He never allowed me to hate or blame Him for my suffering and for that I am deeply thankful.

And now to the crux of the testimony:

I testify before you, as one who has suffered through much abuse, that none of it, not the punches, the slaps, the knocking out of my teeth, the humilitation, the lies, the manipulation, the sight of my mother’s bloody and broken body, the oppressive responsibility of protecting my younger siblings, the betrayals, the living on the street, the suicide attempt, the loss of a church family, the loss of a false identity, none of it compares to the suffering I feel when I am separated from God, and when I am not in obedience to Him, that is when I am separated. I would gladly suffer all of it again rather than be separated from my Saviour. My hope is firmly planted in Jesus Christ, alone. He is the one who died for my sins and for yours. If you believe and trust in Christ’s shed blood then you will have the same hope and assurance 

James 1:2-12

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you fall into various temptations,
knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
Let endurance have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, without any doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven by the wind and tossed.7 For let that man not think that he will receive anything from the Lord. He is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. But let the brother in humble circumstances glory in his high position; and the rich, in that he is made humble, because like the flower in the grass, he will pass away. For the sun arises with the scorching wind, and withers the grass, and the flower in it falls, and the beauty of its appearance perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in his pursuits. Blessed is the man who endures temptation, for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life, which the Lord promised to those who love him.

Body Language

That which is internal becomes visible.

“Our entire being is fashioned as an instrument of praise. Just as a master violin maker designs an instrument to produce maximum aesthetic results, so God tailor-made our bodies, souls and spirits to work together in consonance to produce pleasing expressions of praise and worship. When we use body language to express praise, that which is internal becomes visible.”
(p.60 “A Heart For Worship”)
Lamar Boschman