Broken, But Not Shattered

 

Dedicated to survivors of abuse.

My Testimony:

I would like to share a quiet testimony on suffering,
I was raised in an alcoholic home and was physically and emotionally abused, witnessed the repeated beatings of my mother, abuses towards pets, suffered the constant tyranny of evil, all throughout my childhood, beyond what most people could imagine.

I went from my childhood to young adulthood and spent 10 years under the iron fist of the Herbert W. Armstrong cult, 10 years of suffering spiritual abuse, only I didn’t know it then and experienced the repercussions only after I got out of that cult, another 10 years of suffering a foundering about without an identity and reeling from the lies I had believed.

Then I suffered another great blow, (probably worse than the child abuse) which shall remain nameless to protect the forgiven.

God was with me the whole time, and not once through all of the suffering did I blame Him or ask why, and that isn’t to cast me into a self-righteous light but to show the magnitude of God’s grace in my heart, He never allowed me to hate or blame Him for my suffering and for that I am deeply thankful.

And now to the crux of the testimony:

I testify before you, as one who has suffered through much abuse, that none of it, not the punches, the slaps, the knocking out of my teeth, the humilitation, the lies, the manipulation, the sight of my mother’s bloody and broken body, the oppressive responsibility of protecting my younger siblings, the betrayals, the living on the street, the suicide attempt, the loss of a church family, the loss of a false identity, none of it compares to the suffering I feel when I am separated from God, and when I am not in obedience to Him, that is when I am separated. I would gladly suffer all of it again rather than be separated from my Saviour. My hope is firmly planted in Jesus Christ, alone. He is the one who died for my sins and for yours. If you believe and trust in Christ’s shed blood then you will have the same hope and assurance 

James 1:2-12

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you fall into various temptations,
knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
Let endurance have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, without any doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven by the wind and tossed.7 For let that man not think that he will receive anything from the Lord. He is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. But let the brother in humble circumstances glory in his high position; and the rich, in that he is made humble, because like the flower in the grass, he will pass away. For the sun arises with the scorching wind, and withers the grass, and the flower in it falls, and the beauty of its appearance perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in his pursuits. Blessed is the man who endures temptation, for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life, which the Lord promised to those who love him.

Not Your Typical Oasis

Not Your Typical Oasis

Remember images of someone lost in the desert, crawling in the hot sands panting for a cold drink of water, usually seen in cartoons and old movies? If they were lucky they would find an oasis, and if not, the mirage would dissipate as soon as they came near.

Imagine yourself as that person, lost in the desert, you would do anything for some water and for some shade. Ahead in the distance you see two visions.

  One is the typical oasis, palm trees, and a big pool of the most beautiful water you’ve ever seen. The other vision is a fire, red and hot, flames crackling and licking the sands, you can see the heat rising above, high into the cloudless sky.

Which one are you going to crawl toward?

“As for me, I baptize you with water for repentance, but He who is coming after me is mightier than I, and I am not fit to remove His sandals; He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.   Matthew 3:11

“I have come to cast fire upon the earth; and how I wish it were already kindled!  Luke 12:49

“each man’s work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each man’s work” 1Cor 3:13

“If any man’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire.” 1Cor 3:15

“for our God is a consuming fire.”  Heb 12:29
 

The Crown and The Cross

He that does not receive Christ with his cross as well as his crown, does not truly receive him at all. It is true that Christ invites us to come to him to find rest, and to buy wine and milk: but then he also invites us to come and take up the cross, and that daily, that we may follow him; and if we come only to accept the former, we do not in truth accept the offer of the gospel, for both go together, the rest and the yoke, the cross and the crown: and it will signify nothing, that, in accepting only the one, we accept what God never offered. to us. They that receive only the easy part of Christianity, and not the difficult, at best are but almost Christians; while they that are wholly Christians receive the whole of Christianity, and thus shall be accepted and honored, and not cast out with shame, at the last day.  Jonathon Edwards

 

As for the witness of nature, alone-

Does the sunset speak of purification

Or do the moon’s fulsome properties?

Do they tell me to take up my cross and follow Him?

No, they are the dowry, the crown

Apart from the Word they tell only half truths.

His words are the essence

My balm and perfume my song and I

Who love the Groom will be groomed

In the partaking of His walk.

Not only will we tread through meadows

And the shores of the great oceans

Yet, my bare feet will feel the hot desert sands

They will bleed from thorny thickets

But I will never cease to follow.

This bride of Christ has counted the cost and found nothing compares to the price of marrying her Prince.